Vignette Barrage
by misunderstoodemon
Summary: Series of one- and two-shots, probably centered around Jareth and/or Sarah, in various situations. Should be updated fairly regularly, and please review!
1. Seeing Isn't Believing

A/N: So this is going to be a series of generally unconnected one- and two-shots, inspiration from such random sources as song titles and my English professor. Hope you enjoy, and please review!

Disclaimer: Know I left it around here somewhere... *rummages*... OK, when I find the certificate of ownership I'll let you know. In the meantime, I'll go with "I don't own this, please don't sue the student!"

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><p>Sarah smiled as she twirled around her room to the music coming from the stereo. This was an altogether acceptable substitute for cleaning, she had decided, and was quite enjoying herself.<p>

"Mornings of gold, Valentine evenings..." she hummed to herself as she moved around furniture. "Ah, love."

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><p>Jareth was fed up. He had waited <em>years<em>, and he was growing impatient. Watching as Sarah hummed along to a different song than the one playing on the radio, he smiled and with a touch of magic changed the next song. He smiled wider as she looked, startled at the stereo and whispered something he'd longer to hear. Or close enough, at any rate. He wasn't picky.

He disappeared in a puff of glitter.

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><p>Sarah stared at the radio as the song that had been playing moved into the next one, one was was <em>sure<em> had never been recorded. Shocked, she didn't even register that she'd spoken until after the fact.

"Jareth."

The aforementioned appeared with a burst of glitter and a smug smile, obviously pleased with himself already. She took one long look at him and waled away.

"Sarah?"

"Go away."

"Why should I?"

"Because I don't want you." He looked startled.

"You called me, precious, and I came."

"Yes, yes you did. But I don't want you here, or you, period." He looked confused now, and she shook her head.

"You're here. You're real. But maybe I don't want you to be." She looked at him with ancient eyes. "Seeing isn't believing. Seeing is where believing stops, because it isn't needed anymore."

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><p>Quote that inspired this: "Seeing, contrary to popular belief, <em>isn't believing<em>. It's where belief stops because it _isn't_ needed anymore." - Sir Terry Pratchett (the Amazing)


	2. Should Have Run

A/N: Consider this making up for the rather serious previous installment. Review, please!

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><p>When Jareth had ascended the throne, it hadn't taken him too long to figure out that he was a pretty good King.<p>

It had taken him only slightly longer to figure out why no one had wanted the job to begin with.

Rubbing his temples, he sighed and leaned back in his throne, wondering why he hadn't run then.

"Tell me again, _why_ did you think that Sarah's room would be a good place to keep the Bog overflow?"

"JARETH!"

"Oh bugger."


	3. He wore that cowboy hat

A/N: Just a little drabble inspired by the song "Broken-heartsville", which has nothing to do with anything, really, but I thought it worked. Enjoy, and review!

He happened to be watching as they met, eyes meeting across a dance floor not filled with elegantly twirling Goblin courtiers, but gyrating bodies of all kinds. He smiled at her and bought her a drink. If Jareth had known how far it would go, he might have had a goblin pull the fire alarm, just to see what would happen. Instead, the dark haired man with the cowboy hat bought his Champion a beer and asked for her number.

His main thought was one of smug superiority, but somewhere in the back of his mind was the niggling though that, perhaps, this boy could pose a threat.

He ignored it.

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><p><em>He wore that cowboy hat to cover up his horns...<em>


	4. To Cover Up His Horns

A/N: Continued from previous chapter.

He had watched as she grew, matured into an elegant young lady. He continued to watch as she started dating, and if he noticed they were all tall slim blonds, it was with a kind of smug satisfaction. Then Brent walked onto the scene and spoiled it all. Tall and muscled, with curly black hair and dark eyes, he watched as Sarah fell for him and fell hard. What made it all the worse to watch was the fact that he fell for her too, and he was _nice_. Despite Jareth's goblin's tormenting (he noticed with glee that Sarah knew what was going on, and dealt with them accordingly), he watched as they wed, the wedding cake falling off the table, which collapsed, taking a groomsman and flower girl with it, the culmination of years of mischief.

Brent was infuriatingly unruffled, and kissed his bride.

Jareth cursed violently and kicked a goblin.


	5. Vegas Follows You Home

A/N: Partially inspired by the David Bowie song challenge going around. Only I'm pretty much inspired by anything, including my occasionally-questionable taste in music. Inspired by "What the Hell", by Avril Lavigne, and the phrase "What happens in Vegas. . . occasionally follows you home."  
>As always, reviews welcomed with open arms!<p>

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><p>Sarah groaned as she sat down on the bus and pushed her sunglasses further up her nose. She had never realized hangovers could be so . . . <em>painful<em>. She had a few distinct memories of the night before, and they weren't too bad until about midnight . . . and she wasn't entirely sure where this distinct 'I hate myself' feeling had come from, but she wasn't sure she wanted to know either. She did think it might have something to do with the Anvil Chorus that was playing in her head.

Her few blessings were that she did not appear to have any new tattoos or piercings, and neither had there been a strange man in her bed when she woke. She didn't have any new rings either, which was nice. What she did have was a set of the most lovely hickeys she'd ever seen, along with a nice bite mark-shaped bruise on her shoulder from what she had been able to see in the dark hotel bathroom.

Someone sat down beside her and she glanced up. Her head hit the back of the seat in front of her and she groaned the groan of the condemned.

"Oh no. . ."

"Oh yes, precious. And may I add that I had an absolutely _wonderful_ time last night." Sarah tried to suffocate herself with her pillow and Jareth beamed brighter. "Now about the wedding . . ."

Her shriek could be heard all the way back to downtown Las Vegas.


	6. The Garden Is Still There

A/N: Apologies for the long time between updates, but I had a massive computer meltdown that is only just being resolved.

This was inspired by something my favourite English professor said in relation to _The Time Machine;_ "The garden has been made, even if there aren't any men left to maintain it." I was torn as to whose point of view this should be, so I chickened out and used 'they'. Who do you think it is?

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><p>They wandered through the ruins of the mighty castle, the wind whistling through the branches of the few scrubby trees and chinks in the rocks. The stones, crumbling where they stood, had been worn smooth by the dry wind and the sand it whipped through the air. They stared up at the tower that was slowly tumbling down, each stone taking hundreds or thousands of years to reach the ground. Dying in slow motion.<p>

There was a courtyard in the centre. They watched as a stream flowed through the broken bowl of a fountain that had once sat in a place of pride at the centre of the square, and was now crumbling even as the tower did. There had been a cobblestone pathway guiding visitors through the wonders of the garden, but it was barely visible or felt through the grass that had cracked the stones and shifted them from their foundations until they sat at odd angles from each other.

The plants that had once ranged along the pathways were still there – shrubs, trees and flowers, grown wild over the years, though they never exceeded their bounds. The rose blooms struggled past their halo of leaves and thorns to burst out into the air and the rare sunlight, gasping for life and free of constraints.

They touched a bloom, and a drop of blood welled from a finger where it had caught a thorn.

The garden was still there, though there weren't any men left to tend it.

... Review?


	7. After Battle Comes Quiet

A/N: This was inspired by something in university again, probably in my Enlgish class again, but I can't quite remember and am too lazy to dig my notes out, even if I did know where they were. Don't own, as usual.

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><p>After battle comes quiet.<p>

The Castle was silent, the goblins having long fled and its other inhabitants barely daring to breathe. Even the chickens only clucked quietly to themselves, hidden in their coops. They didn't dare hope that the battle was over.

Nobody knew what the war had been fought over, or what had started it. They only wanted to be well out of the war zone and not used as weapons or soldiers.

When the King and Queen fought, everybody ran.

Once or twice the older inhabitants who remembered most vividly the days before the Queen waxed philosophical about days past, when a Bogging was the worst that could happen to a goblin. Since then, more creative and ingenious tortures had been invented, each worse than the last.

This battle had been worse than most – bordering kingdoms had hastily withdrawn their citizens from near the Goblin border, as though the Goblin Kingdom was a powder keg whose fuse had finally been lit.

As even the chickens held their breath, there was a small sound from somewhere in the Goblin Monarchs' personal chambers that, though no one else heard, was felt. Then there was a giggle, and a peal of laughter, and the kingdom relaxed.

They had survived.

At least until next time.


	8. A Distinct Lack of White Chargers

A/N: This was inspired by something from English class again (what can I say? I had the most awesome prof EVER): "There's no horses to charge in on, that's the problem." Review are adored just for being given to me!

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><p>When he appeared at her window in full armour and Goblin King regalia, she said "Hell, no."<p>

When he tried wearing a leather jumpsuit she licked dry lips and said the same.

A week later he charged up to her on a white horse in the middle of the street and -_literally_- swept her off her feet, and she still said no.

The week after that, he rescued her from some muggers in a fashion that seemed awfully contrived and she still held her ground.

He dangled her over the Bog only to watch her be rescued by her friends, and his gifts, though appreciated, did little to smooth the proverbial path of true love.

The month after the Bog Incident, he appeared, exhausted and maybe the slightest bit defeated at her window with chicken feathers in his hair and one sleeve half-ripped off and asked her one last time.

She gave him a very enthusiastic "Yes!" and kissed him until he unfroze.

"Now," she said. "Let's go make dinner out of that chicken revolutionary of yours." He looked at her with such confusion in his eyes she had to kiss him again, and said chicken was not caught for another week.


	9. Hallucinations Can Bite Back

A/N: I don't quite remember where this came from, but I have strange nooks and crannies in my mind not even I dare explore. Meh. Enjoy, and please review!

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><p>Hallucinations could change your life.<p>

Sarah knew this all too well, but had nonetheless put her personal hallucination behind her some time age. Sanity was more important than imagined friendship.

She sighed and put her brush down, untangling the last knot with her fingers before tying it back. She idly wondered why she had let it grow so long, remembering that it was because the Goblin King had liked it long before firmly squashing that thought and putting it back in the mental drawer it had escaped from.

The Goblin King had nothing to do with this.

She glanced in the mirror one more time before turning out the light, noting the shadows that moved at the corner of her vision. But everyone had those, didn't they? After all, she was a woman living alone. A little jumpiness was to be expected.

In bed, she lay awake and stared at the ceiling. Sometimes she did wish... no, she didn't wish. Not anymore. Strange how much impact a hallucination could have on a person. Or a hallucination within a hallucination, in one case. She could not, to this day, look at a poofy white dress without dieing a little inside. Sometimes she did wish though... in her darkest moments, she did wish a little, just inside.

"I wish..." she murmured quietly, more to herself than anything.

"Listen!" she heard, at the edge of her hearing and consciousness. Suddenly very awake, she sat up. "Listen!" came the breathy voice again, and other voices hushing it. Then silence.

"I wish..." she began again, and the squeaky voice said it again, louder. "Say what?" asked a slow voice, and then more hushing.

Hallucination, you say.

Too bloody real for my peace of mind, Sarah said.

She got up and turned on her lamp, pulling on her robe and slippers, ignoring the shadows behind furniture and under the coffee table. Making herself a cup of tea, she threw the teabag out before going to sit on the couch, primly folding her hands in front of her and sitting up straight.

"I wish..."

"List- augh!" the voice squealed as Sarah thrust her hand into the unnatural darkness under the coffee table and grabbed the first thing she felt. It was the throat of a small struggling goblin, who was glaring at her for all he was worth.

"Well? Say it!" he demanded, and she shook him a little to keep him quiet.

"It was real."

"Well of _course_ it was real stupid girl!"

"You're real."

"Again, of course. Who do you think moves your keys and knocks over your toys?" She shook him again to hush him up, and thought.

"I wish the Goblin King would come and talk to me, right now." There was a squeal from under the coffee table, and the goblin in her grasp vanished. Frowning, she dusted her hands off and sat back.

She was going to have a Talk with the Goblin King.


	10. Bad Timing, J

A/N: I don't really remember where this came from either, but I'm inordinately fond of it, and I hope you are too.

I _almost_ want to say "Poor J, we abuse him so", but... _naaahhh_...

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><p>"But why did she do it?" Sarah scowled and another pan fell from its precarious position on the drainer, clattering to the counter. Muttering curses, she picked it up and dried it.<p>

Why had she refused him? It would have been easy enough to assure herself that Toby was safe _and_ take him up on his offer. If he had meant it. She wasn't always sure he had – it varied day by day. She scowled again, glad no one else was around to see her fit of temper.

Sarah had allotted ten minutes to thinking about him and the Labyrinth each morning, and he had the _gall_ to invade her thoughts now. She admitted he occasionally spilled over into her life again after she finished talking to her friends in the evening, but that was _it_.

She sighed. Who was she kidding?

She thought she had gotten to know him at least a little over the years, between her own thoughts and her friends' stories. She _liked_ those stories – they were good ones. And she might even like their subject if he would just get out of her _head_.

"Pervert," she muttered, knowing full well that he was probably watching and being smugly amused about this whole debacle. "That bastard." She glared fiercely at a plate that dared to teeter where it was standing, and it meekly returned to being stationary. "Certain powers my ass." Still livid, she stormed out of the kitchen and went to select a movie to watch. Without even thinking it, she muttered "Damn you, Jareth." under her breath, hand hovering over a particularly violent B-movie.

"Well well well, what have we here?" came a masculine voice from behind her, and without a second thought she took the movie and flung it at his head.

"You bastard!"

"What did I do?"


	11. Jareth Interviews for a Goblin Queen

A/N: I have no idea where this came from. I don't know that I want to know. It's pure comedy, so take it as it is. As I said in my Owning a Goblin King story, I'll be out of the country this time next week, so no updates til I get back. Reviews welcome!

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><p><span>Jareth Interviews a Queen<span>

"Name?"

"Sunshine Stardust Aurora."

"Why are you named after celestial phenomena?"

"I'm a miracle!"

"Next."

"Name?"

"Mary-Jane Hope Williams."

"Next!"

"Name?"

"Beth."

"Why do you want to be Goblin Queen?"

"Because I WUVS OO! She made a grab for his hair, but was quickly restrained and taken away by a pair of Goblin guards.

"Name?"

"Aurora Sunshine Stardust."

"Next!"

"Name?"

"Rebekah Cherry Bloom."

"Next!"

"Name?"

"Aurora Stardust Sunshine."

"Go _away_!"

"Name?"

"No thank you, I already have one."

"Why do you want to be Goblin Queen?" She shrugged.

"Seems like it's be a fun thing to do." He snorted.

"What are your qualification?"

"Can genuinely smile on command, sarcasm provided free of charge, copious knowledge of history, mythology, literature and random trivia, and my family has neither dramatic curse nor strangely prudish principles against other species. My mother also does not want me to breed in the next five years."

"Will you fear me, love me, and do as I say?"

"No. You'd have to kiss me first, and even then it's doubtful."

"Welcome to the kingdom. Your first duty is to hide as I tell the other applicants that the position has been filled and then comfort me as I weep over the current state of all articulate bipedal creatures."


	12. Caffeine Bad

A/N: Hello there again. Miss me?  
>*crickets*<br>Well there's no call for that. Anyway, I had a great time on vacation, though Florida was obscenely hot and humid for this poor Northern girl, and we missed the hurricane, thankfully. Reviews welcome, as always!

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><p>Sarah didn't go to coffee shops.<p>

Nor did she go to coffee shops.

It had nothing to do with her preferences as to hot beverages, but instead everything to do with the people who frequented the places they were sold. Somehow, no matter what she did and how many different cafe's she tried, when she entered the Goblin King would be sitting in the most comfortable chair, exactly one-third of the way through his drink.

When combined with the goblins and the mysterious accidents that befell all her suitors, this meant she never met any men worthy of the name, but it was a small price to pay for avoiding His Nibs.

Unfortunately, she hadn't counted on the effects of prolonged exposure to the copious amounts of caffeine he consumed while stalking her to various establishments on his Nibs.

Which is how Sarah Williams came to possess what is very possibly the single most incriminating series of pictures known Under or Aboveground.


	13. The Baseless Fabric of a Dream

A/N: Well university may kill me yet, but you got your update no matter my ineptitude when it comes to this Life thing. I hope you're happy. *grumbles*

Ha! Well no, seriously. This was inspired by something that same English prof said last semester (Best. Class. Ever.). Enjoy, and please review! Ideas are welcome, though at this rate I have no idea when I'll get there. Send me quotes that remind you of Labyrinth, relate to a character, anything!

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><p>Sarah woke shaking and gasping from a dream she had not wanted to have, and did not want to remember.<p>

Still shaking, she sat up, hugging her knees and thinking.

She hated her dreams sometimes – reliving fantasies and incidents that should be long dead and buried, memories that should _stay_ buried. Sighing, she got up and turned on the light beside her bed before daring to put her feet on the floor. The overactive part of he imagination thought she heard a disappointed sigh from somewhere, but she ignored it.

Why was she dreaming of the Goblin King now? Nothing had happened in her life to prompt such a dream, and she hadn't been thinking about him particularly. Muttering to herself, she went to make a cup of tea, ignoring the muted scurrying sounds at the edge of her hearing. It was the house shifting, or the cat next door, or a squirrel climbing the wall outside. She crawled back into bed when her eyes got heavy, curling up under her blankets, contentedly warm and cozy.

It was the baseless fabric of a dream, nothing more.


	14. The Subjectivity of Dreams

A/N: University may still kill me yet, but here I am nonetheless. Reviews are greatly adored and petted and cuddled until they purr.

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><p>He offered her her dreams – what if she got them as her prize?<p>

The crystal popped against the fingers that had been ready to catch it, more through reflex than anything.

I wonder if she would have caught it, if she had known...

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><p>Sarah Williams led a charmed life.<p>

She always arrived at the bus stop just on time, her electronics never died except when it was convenient and there was a plug-in nearby, there was always a seat open for her when she wanted one, and she had never had to pay for a drink in all her legal life.

There was, however, a problem.

It was _boring_.

There was no excitement, no magic or adventure. Whatever she turned her hand to seemed to miraculously succeed – she had avoided anything relating to investment because she was rather worried about what would happen if she did, and the damage she could do to the economy. The men she dated were wonderful, sweet guys, but the relationships ended without fail or incident every time – they were perfect Prince Charming's for any other girl, but Sarah knew precisely what she wanted, and that wasn't it. There wasn't anything really challenging in her life – she was reasonably successful, sure, but that's another thing entirely, and wholly unrelated.

Which is why, in a fit of pique that may or may not have been assisted by a particularly luck-saturated day and a glass of wine, she summoned the Goblin King.

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><p>They exchanged Looks.<p>

They then had a Conversation.

The gist was this:

"So... that crystal didn't contain your power or something."

"You've been reading too much fanfiction, precious." She made a rude gesture and he chuckled. "No. Did it not occur to you to ask why I was holding a crystal out to you when I offered you your dreams?"

"No. I was a bit distracted at the time."

"Point. The crystal contained your dreams."

"So... I caught the crystal, I caught my dreams?"

"Precisely."

"But... this isn't my dreams!" she made a motion to encompass the small, if comfortable apartment and the rest of the world.

"No, and I can see why not. But it might have been when you were fifteen."

"Wha- Oh. Well that sucks."

"Hm," was his only reply, and she sat there thinking about it all for a minute.

"Very well." She stood up, brushed herself off and straightened her clothes, and sat in the lap of the Goblin King who was sitting on her couch. He looked startled, and she laughed.

"What-"

"My dreams, Goblin King," she said regally. "Give them to me." He slowly grinned, and wrapped his arms around her waist possessively.

"As you wish."


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